br balik jumpa SV. dissertation ade sikit kena baiki. sweet la SV saye ni. walaupon selalu gado n bertekak (even dlm emel pon), tp die tetap baek. syukur alhamdulillah. hehehe. tp bila nk g jumpa SV ni, mest dalam hati start nk serabut n dalam kepala susah otak. bila sembang ngn SV psl tu, mula la sy xnk pndang muka die. i noe, he put hope in me. dalam mase yg same sy terikat dn penaja saye. dan juga dalam mase yg sama, jauh di sudut hati ade keinginan utk pergi. sume ni buat jiwa saye tak tenang. ape2pon, ni semua ujian Allah utk saye, yg mane Dia nk tgk sejauh mane sy boleh berfikir secara rasional dan bergantung pd Dia. 0' Allah...
on the way balik, sy jumpa seorang lecturer ni, Ir. I agak baik dgn saye. Die tnye dh dpt keja belom? sy sengih sambil geleng. tunggu result SI. act, sy tak fikir sgt psl keja skrg ni, unless employment dgn PETRONAS je. kalo keja company len, sy tolak tepi dl. bukan bermakna saye kejar duit or tak pndang company kecik2, tp sbb bg saye selagi PETRONAS x kuarkan result SI, selagi itula sy terikat. mmg org ckp, to keep ur in save, at least u dh ade keja standby. kalo x dpt PETRONAS, then go for that job. ok, sy agree sgt2. sbb dl pon sy fikir mcm tu jugak. :)
cume, skrg ni plan saye mungkin berubah. MUNGKIN. dan saye tak tahu bagaimana corak mase depan saye sbb saye hanya merancang, tp hakikatnye perancangan Allah itu juga yg terbaik. back to my story with lecturer tu, Ir. I suggest saye utk accept that offer. he said, go for it. tp sy btaw sy berat hati unless saye dpt continue my sponsorship with ***. Then, he asked my to aply under UTP, or shoot emel to Tn. Rector, asking for his support. *ngeriii bunyi. i told him, i' m scared. Ir. I ckp, dlm hidup ni...utk berjaya ade 3 mnde yg kt kena consider. fear,guilty and ego.
fear- to gain success, u have to let go all ur FEARssss
guilty- u have to avoid having this feeling..
ego- u have to take it away...try to look for people below ur level. sbb if u kept on continuing be at ur position, smpai bile u xkan belajar.
die buat saye terpk. termenung. wut should i do??? ayah ckp if x dpt schlar ***, then u should focus on wut u have right now. cume, backup plan saye, in case xdpt employment (which i really hope Allah sediakan tempat utk saye), then i'll go to that place. psl sponsorship tu saye akan usahakan mcm mane. tgk la...
things always complicated for me....
ttb saye suke gmbr ni, tp bukan pd words tu.
gmbr tu mcm keadaan sy skrg hehe...perlukan O2 utk bernafas...hehe
suke jgk gmbr tu..btw, keep in touch ya~~ :)
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