berjaya? Yes or No?

Hee, still got time to write something in my blog. sbb hujan kat luar yg lebat. i dun want to basahkan kepala utk kuar nnt. lgpon today is weekend bukan ofis hour kol 8! hehehe

arini, kesempatan kali ni sy nk kongsi sikit which insyaAllah sy doa org len bley pakai ape yg sy amalkan. cuma, jujur sekali, it is not for show off. nauzubillah. now, ppl alwys used to call me as budak bijak. aamin aamin. hehe. okla, some friends do ask me ape petua yg sy buat mse blajar dl, smpai jd bijak pndai T___T. erm, sebenarnye sy hanyalah biasa2 shj. pointer mse zmn foundation dl agaklah menyedihkan. tp kebangkitan itu bermula slps kekalahan demi kekalahan. dan kekalahan itulah yg menyebabkan kt sedar mana silap n buruk yg kena improve.

ok, back to main topic. in my old days as student dl, honestly sy xpnh amik ape2 supplement utk kecerdasan minda. xcaye, u can ask cik intan marlyny or my previous2 rumet. not even at once! sy xmakan vitamin ape2 pon kec vitamin C, tu pon makan sikit sbb mak paksa, pastu sebotol besar tu buat perkasam dlm loker. heheh. so, ape yg sy makan? sy xmakan kismis mcm org len sbb perut sy tak ley terima kismis. makan je mst saket perut. yg sy makan time sy study is kurma. ok, mmg sy sgt sgt suke kurma. ni pon u can ask my rumet. sy jdkan kurma as my candies. dan kurma, u guys can check it here, here, here for your references. even smpai skrg sy masih suka and will bring it small Tupperware to ofis everyday (kalo sempat n teringat la hehe).


next, before pg kelas or after kelas, sy amik peluang utk solat dhuha. pls jgn kate sy nk menunjuk2, bukan. ini sharing ok? byk kelebihan utk solat dhuha ni. cuma kt je x sedar or wat2 x sedar sbb mls nk smyg 2 rakaat. astagfirullah. check this link (wajib bace!) , n this link utk fadhilat solat sunat dhuha. mudah2an terbuka hati utk kt teruskan amalan sunat ni :)

lps tu, jujur dgn mak ayah. sy rase psl ni sume org tahu kot sy mcm mane. if mak kate A, dan A lah sy buat. no other choice. sbb sy percaya setiap ape yg dieorg mahu tu mmg utk kebaikan kt dan semamangnye syurga itu terletak bawah tapak kaki ibu. redha Allah bersama redha ibu bapa kt :)

hurm, wut else? ade lg rsenye... tp for the time being, mungkin itu yg boley sy kongsikan. insyaAllah ade mse sy tulis lg. not for show off but for others to apply if they think these might help them. wallahualam.

ok, mau ke ofis! byeeeeeeee!

patah hati? nope!!!

Dear diary

i m sory for ignoring you...for a few days/ months probably! life is so busy. even it's already past 6 months but i still have alot of thing to do. so many and so many until i can be head wire for sometime! i learnt alot try the exercises. report-hantar-reject-buat balik is a normal thing for me! it reminded me to my FYP those days. hahaha. i submitted the report and kena buat balik. even for a paragraph it might took a week!muahaha... but than, i should thanked to my SV for his ketegasssness in turning me to be a somebody.

yes, reaching out the stars, taking thousand of initiatives and be as creative in everything u do! i used to patah hati sometimes, and always to come to those silly thought," why not i just went to ohio last sept? why not i just resigned? why not i be somewhere else?" i m sorry boss for making it these way. tp actually all of these happen bl rse terlalu tertekan! T___T

but then, bl paras glukosa come to normal balance, i start to realize how lucky i am. Allah answers my prayers thru His best way. i found good people here, i meet the right persons who can teach and develop me to be a good person in future. cume, everything depends on me. sejauh mane saye mahu melangkah dan to where i wanna go.

dear diary,

i will always remember those good words. always putting somewhere in my special box. not heart yeaa, sbb ni psl kerja. hahaha. erm, if company ade road map for 5 years projection...i used to have it too! br develop smlm. hehe. but it is for 7 years. i always told my boss that by the end of 7 years, i wanna be a TP. why 7 years? that's a story behind it. since skrg ni mase berlalu mcm in the blink of eyes, i wanna persiapkan diri dgn sst in future, i have to work efficiently. mayb, ape yg sy buat 3 years ago akan berulang where i double up my efforts. org pegi lecture sekali, but i went for lecture twice in a day for a same subject but different lectures. because yg ajar adelah foreigner, so its quite hard to understand their ascent as well as nk fhm subject itself. ppl say i m crazy, haha..who cares...because i have a target to be the best for that subject at the end of the semester. alhamdulillah, i got it...lecturer choosed me as representative for commenting/evaluating their lecturer where the comments will be submitted to the board of international examiners..and ppl pernah depend on me to settle one question. soalan tu susah sgt2..everybody dah give up n time tu we all plan to do it at cafe untill 3 am (if not mistaken)...everybody is waiting for me to solve it...alhamdulillah, Allah helped me...make it easy for me...and at the end of the semester...yes, i achieved my KPI! thank to Allah.

but then all those wonderful moments happened zaman jd student. skrg i m staff. life will never be the same. tp hidup perlu ada cita2 dan impian which will boost up everything. sy akan cube utk menjadi yg terbaik. yes, smlm sy patah hati... semalam saya kalah, but doesn't mean tomorrow pon sy akan kalah. we learnt from the mistake...n insyaAllah, dr ape yg berlaku, kebergantungan sy kpd Allah semakin kuat. alhamdulillah :)

study week kerja-Part1

Salam wbt...

weekend ni agak busy. td msuk ofis half day buat data analysis. half day jela, xlarat nk lama2 sbb perut mcm menyanyi mcm2 lagu daa time tu. balik ptg tido atas sofa dalam sejam lebey, tersadai x ingat ape2. utk makan malam masak simple2 shj, cuba resepi baru dari mak. ape name eh?entah la. rase sedap. ade sayur, ade taugeh, ade ayam dan bla bla bla...

mlm ni sambung study. ade seminggu lg sebelom 'the day'. rase mcm study week shj. teringat zaman study di UTP. mase tu study dgn kawan2. tp skrg study sorang2. dan study perkara yg lagi 'matured' sbb pakai di alam realiti. heehee. bace ISO, standard, nsb bek xde kira2 or formula. erk, jap...ade2. ade formula. kena recall balik.

mlm ni ade cter best, trilogi cinta. mls nk layan anime kat astro, layan cter rosham noor kat TV1 sekali sekala. owh, jiwa org tua saye ni. xpela. once a while :)

Goodbye part6-last episode

ok, kali ini mmg btol2 goodbye. dah xde daa chpter goodbye len slps ni. hehe. semua dh setel, report dh officially submitted to SV ngn dprmt, clearance sume dh beres, barang ade sikit lg nk kemas. dan sgt2 x sabar nk loading sume brg2 dlm kereta. sbbnye nk tgk cukup space ke tak :P

ayah selalu perli dl, kalo nk balik kena sewa treller pnjang. sbb brg serba mak nenek ade. sume mnde kat bilik umah tu nk angkut. hee, well i need them la dad spy dpt bg inspiration utk study. *kening double jerk* tang mane inspiration pon tak tahu la. nyemak kat pndangan act. erm, nk buat bilik kat UTP ni rase homey sikit. ahaha...

btw, ade sedikit terkilan sebenarnye dgn report yg disubmit. silap letak pages kat dpn. aisey, gle tak tenteram jiwa satu ari ni. td g mintak balik dgn SV, pasti SV ckp xpe la...saje die nk kenakan ak td. gado2 sikit dgn SV, lps die meyakinkan ak bahawa, xde mslh pon dgn report yg ak submit tu, barulah ak mengalah. kalo tak, forsurenye mintak balik beki kat kelantan. pastu pos laju ke alamat rumah SV.ahaha...

tak caye bila diri sendiri dh mampu produce hardcover thesis. rse cam mimpi2 jek. sbb selama ni bersengkang mata nk siapkan report yg maha agung ni. nk siapkan FYP, nk siapkan coding bgi jalan. dan terpaksa bergado2 dgn ssorg hmba Allah yg kat UTM skudai tu..smpai terpaksa pekakkan mata ngn butakan telinga semata2 nk belajar dr beliau. kena kutuk kaw2...hoho. kena bukak dictionary bila tak fhm english die yg berhabuk tahap dewa tu. fius ak dah bape kali terputus dgn beliau, aci bley smbung balik je nsib baek. lps tu, scr geram bl tak mampu nk kawal rse marah, i said i hate u dkt beliau. huh, phrase membunuh betul. tujuh ke sepuluh keturunan pon tak penah hayat terfikir nk keluarkan perkataan tu even dgn x-bf yg menyakitkan jiwa tahap garam selama ni pon.ahaha... bertuah sgt la ak dpt bg ayat tu kat die. kalo dulu ak selalu kaco die kat gtalk...lps dr tu, ak dh tak tgk muka die daa. x nmpak die online daa. die block ak kot? hahaha...xdehal laa. lagi ak suke mcm tu. tenteram hidup. bahagia jiwa. ak ley bet r pasni die akan kutuk ak lagi kalo die bce post ak ni. aaa, lantak la die nk ckp ape pon. yg pasti, die sudah pon berakhir bersama2 dgn report FYP yg ak submit td. kire tutup buku. noktah!!!

td, lps submit report, ak g merayau ke bilik lecturers. saje jek ni nk say goodbye. at least la kan. kalo kt nk tinggal org tu, kena la ckp bye2 dl. mcm kurang asam jawe jek kalo blah cmtu jek. tp sedey plak sbb xde bilik2 lecturer sume kosong. br ak teringat sume dh g KL sbb da conference. alaa, so niat baek ak nk wave hand ngn mintak halal ilmu dr lecturer pon x kesampaian.

last part yg ak nk cerita sekali psl co-SV ak. Pn Ainul. ak sayang die, betul x tipu. gle best dpt SV camni. blur, sempoi habis. ak kenal die mse intern sbb die die dtg PGB, amik data n utk fyp ak. takyah cte pnjang. we shared same hobby- photography. so, bl weekend, ktorg g photoshoot kat Tanjung Jara. petang2 balik dr ofis, lepak kat pntai makan keropok lekor. kisah ak zaman jd student sume die tahu. pastu td, mse nk blah...die ckp ape kat ak??? ak ingatkan die nk say goodluck dlm future life cam standard sume org ckp kat ak. tapi sekali die ckp..

"atikah, goodluck in finding your boyfriend...!! Ingat, jgn cr org PETRONAS..."

dan ak hanya sengih mcm kerang busuk, xtau nk ckp ape daa...hehe... :)

life kat Uni ni act lagi best..jauh lg best dr zaman sekolah menengah. betul x tipu. sbb zaman ni kt bebas, xde la bebas sgt. kena pndai2 jage diri, jage smyg, bace Al-Quran selalu. pergaulan kena jage jugak. ak dok UTP ni pon, end up bukan msuk geng2 yg alim2 and bukan jugak msuk geng yg lagi satu..org kate atas pagar. tu lah ak. msih mencari2 arah hidup. msih cari identiti sape sebenarnye ATIKAH SAARI ni. tp sikit sebanyak ak tahu la kemana arah tuju ak. Allah tlg sepanjang jalan, kalo nk harap ak sorang2, sah2 terjun lombong awal2. kahkah. itu hanya hiperbola. ak kuar UTP ni ak xtahu la sape jd bestfriend ak. haa, ade kot..insyaAllah ade. walaupon ak x pernh declare dia tu sape. xyah la declare2, cukup sekadar ko tahu, ak tahu, kita kawan baek. abis cte! ok, dh laa berakhir kisah hidup ak selama 5 tahun kat UTP. nmpak best n bunyi yg glamer je dpt msuk UTP, sponsor PETRONAS..haha..mai la dok sini, then u will noe how is it. Tp ak ttk suke UTP sbb tempat ni la byk ajar ak jd org...bukan hantu.

p/s: mr Xxx, sy maafkan awk sbb buat sy mcmtu. awk maafkan saye tak???hehe (gle sengal ayat ak ni, mak aihh)..buang tebiat 4otahun ak tulis ayat cenggini~

Goodbye part4

status FB: melepak dan terus melepak...menghabiskan hari2 terakhir di UTP:D

msih di UTP nan indah. alone. rumet xde. may xde. dok kat umah sorang2. takpe Allah ade. nnt lps ni, kalo pegi jauh2, xde sape2 jugak kan. start berdikari wahai hati dan semoga kau tabah. aamin. pagi td, nsb bek sempat anta 4 copies report utk hardbound. alhamdulillah. cane sy boley tak tahu dieorg collect smlm. xbace emel ak ni. nasib baek tu xpernah takde. syukur. terkocoh2 anta report ngn muka tak mandi, sarung tudung itam yg bbrp ari punye. T__T

bila setel psl report, skrg tyme nk packing brg2. loker almost kosong! buku2 dh selamat masuk dlm kotak. cume meja msih bersepah2. mls nk kemas sbb suke tgk mcm tu. kahkah. bunga2 kering dalam pasu x buang lagi. masih di tempat asal. let it be. msih terfikir2 ptg ni nk buat ape. main squash? lepak kat bilik wani? nnt la dulu. ade 'keja' kena buat. yg x siap2 lagi.

**********

nk flash back kisah semalam

lunch dgn Pn Ainul ngn Pn Azuraein kat Taman U. maam belanja makan. yeay! i told them about 'that'. Pn Azuraein explain elok2 kat saye. tntg mse depan, which one that i need to choose. i still remember her words yg buatkan saye makin menimbang tara ape yg ade..

"neither bout to enjoy nor scholarship, the thing is r u mentally prepared to undergo it?

*** is a lonely journey. It may takes u 2, 3 months or even up to 1 year to adapt with new environment. u have to think about it..."

yup, tepat sekali ape yg die ckp tu. mmg sy agree. a LONELY JOURNEY babe~ and sy terfikir2 sst, seandainya mmg 'path' ni yg perlu saye pilih nnt, how i'm going to face this lonely journey alone?

Dear soul ,

I am patience. In stillness, I eternally wait for you to acknowledge Me, your true Self.

In timelessness, I abide. As peace, I repose.

As the sun awaits the flower to turn its face towards its warmth and light, so do I await you.

Goodbye part3

br balik jumpa SV. dissertation ade sikit kena baiki. sweet la SV saye ni. walaupon selalu gado n bertekak (even dlm emel pon), tp die tetap baek. syukur alhamdulillah. hehehe. tp bila nk g jumpa SV ni, mest dalam hati start nk serabut n dalam kepala susah otak. bila sembang ngn SV psl tu, mula la sy xnk pndang muka die. i noe, he put hope in me. dalam mase yg same sy terikat dn penaja saye. dan juga dalam mase yg sama, jauh di sudut hati ade keinginan utk pergi. sume ni buat jiwa saye tak tenang. ape2pon, ni semua ujian Allah utk saye, yg mane Dia nk tgk sejauh mane sy boleh berfikir secara rasional dan bergantung pd Dia. 0' Allah...

on the way balik, sy jumpa seorang lecturer ni, Ir. I agak baik dgn saye. Die tnye dh dpt keja belom? sy sengih sambil geleng. tunggu result SI. act, sy tak fikir sgt psl keja skrg ni, unless employment dgn PETRONAS je. kalo keja company len, sy tolak tepi dl. bukan bermakna saye kejar duit or tak pndang company kecik2, tp sbb bg saye selagi PETRONAS x kuarkan result SI, selagi itula sy terikat. mmg org ckp, to keep ur in save, at least u dh ade keja standby. kalo x dpt PETRONAS, then go for that job. ok, sy agree sgt2. sbb dl pon sy fikir mcm tu jugak. :)

cume, skrg ni plan saye mungkin berubah. MUNGKIN. dan saye tak tahu bagaimana corak mase depan saye sbb saye hanya merancang, tp hakikatnye perancangan Allah itu juga yg terbaik. back to my story with lecturer tu, Ir. I suggest saye utk accept that offer. he said, go for it. tp sy btaw sy berat hati unless saye dpt continue my sponsorship with ***. Then, he asked my to aply under UTP, or shoot emel to Tn. Rector, asking for his support. *ngeriii bunyi. i told him, i' m scared. Ir. I ckp, dlm hidup ni...utk berjaya ade 3 mnde yg kt kena consider. fear,guilty and ego.

fear- to gain success, u have to let go all ur FEARssss

guilty- u have to avoid having this feeling..

ego- u have to take it away...try to look for people below ur level. sbb if u kept on continuing be at ur position, smpai bile u xkan belajar.

die buat saye terpk. termenung. wut should i do??? ayah ckp if x dpt schlar ***, then u should focus on wut u have right now. cume, backup plan saye, in case xdpt employment (which i really hope Allah sediakan tempat utk saye), then i'll go to that place. psl sponsorship tu saye akan usahakan mcm mane. tgk la...

things always complicated for me....

ttb saye suke gmbr ni, tp bukan pd words tu.

gmbr tu mcm keadaan sy skrg hehe...perlukan O2 utk bernafas...hehe

Goodbye part1

*penulisan dlm bahasa melayu & bercampur english secara formalnya

kalo ikut tarikh asal, post ini ditulis pd 2june, tp keep on save as draft, arini baru betul2 tulis which on 8th June 2010 :)

Kehadapan Diari,

Sungguh saya tak sangka 5 tahun perjalanan hidup saye di UTP ini berakhir juga. Bemula pd Julai 2005, kali pertama menjejakkan kaki UTP,konon penuh lagak dan semangat berkobar2. tengok kiri kanan semua kawan2 'berabuk speaking', paksa diri speaking jugak. padahal hentam sahaja. haha. bajet budak bijak, masih ingat bila org tnye ape2, konon tahu semua mnde. tipu la sgt. ok, itu zaman kecik2 dl. zaman budak hingusan. zaman semua org mula2 masuk UTP cakap 'english dialek kalah Mat Salleh betul, dan zaman itu semua org berlagak poyo hehe. maafkan saye ye kawan2. :) :)

Dulu, hidup di Old V5, Block Tembungo. (cantik x nama?klasik gle hehe). walaupon kat situ jauh dari hiburan, agak2 terpencil, tanpa internet 24/7, tanpa cafe makanan yg best, jauh dari dewan kuliah dan terpksa menapak ari2 tapi tetap gigih juga habiskan zaman foundation dgn gembira. bila ingat balik rse seronok jugak stay situ sbb mcm satu batch kat situ. bila lalu depan Block Duyong, mesti akan dengar org nyanyi lagi Ruzana. rasenye sume girls yg lalu situ kena. rindunye nk dgr suara katak pnggil hujan lgi.ahaha. malam2 melepak dan study kat cafe beramai2 smpai 2, 3 pagi. sbb IRC bukak sampai pkul 11.30 je study week. pelik betul mse zaman foundation dulu, pointer tak pernah nak jadi gempak walaupon study tahap dewa. mungkin mase tu tak pndai lagi nk tackle care belajar yg betul. hehe dan yang paling seronok bila masuk 1st year pointer resume balik jd 0.0 :) *yeay*

Pernah merasa duduk di V1 satu semester. V1D. kat sini, xdelah istilah terperuk sgt. sbb dekat dgn dewan kuliah dan bank. cafe USM pon masakan sedap (kalo nk compare dgn old v5 dl). dan kat sini dah dpt tgk dunia luar sb ader internet daa. owh, seronok sangat!

Buat Diari,
Tahun pertama di Uni dapat merasa tinggal di Village 5 K. 3 tahun di situ. dan bermulalah hidup sbg budak jurusan mekanikal. setiap semester bermain dengan subjek2 yg 'menarik'. bermula dgn Statics & ETECH, mase ni dpt pensyarah kacak: Mr. Sanif dan Mr Fadhil. belajar dengan semangat. lepas tu sambung dengan Mechanics of Machine, Dynamic, Solid, Vibration, IMSE, haa, dah lupe subjek2 zaman dulu.hehe. pernah buat formula sendiri dulu iaitu kalo nk dapat result tinggi, mesti minat pensyarah.

lecturer ensem + lecturer cun = score exam!!!

bijak tak? tapi formula tu tak boley pakai la. buat seronok2 boleh la. hehehe. bila dah besar baru la tahu mcm mane nk dapat pointer tinggi. mest rajin. mesti fokus dalam kelas. mesti buat sendiri kerja rumah. hahaha. zaman jd 'undergrade' paling seronok walaupon cos Mechy ni byk gle kerja. project tak pernah habis. tiap sem ade. tp best sbb dari situ tambah kawan baru. dari situ belajar tak tido malam. dari situ belajar stay up kat cafe sampai sahur! seronok babe.

Diari sayang,

alahai, tipu la kan kalo sepanjang 5 tahun belajar ni tak pernah men2 dgn soal perasaan kan? mesti ade. crush situ sini. hehe. jeles sana sini. bagi saye, semua ni puppy love. cinta zaman kanak2. sbb jiwa budak2. tapi ade jugak yg kekal kan. hee, bagus2x!! apepon, saye? masih ingat pesan mak sebelum masuk UTP dulu. datang UTP mesti utk belajar. jadinye, saya hanya memandang cinta dgn rase sepi walaupon perasaan itu pernah ade dalam hati. maafkan sy. xpe, ada jodoh kt continue utk serius. (tp, dgn sape? hv no idea,agaga) hahaha. lawak lah! apepon sy menamatkan zaman undergrade dgn status 'single'. *yeay lagi*

Diari sayang,

kawan datang dan pergi silih berganti dalam hidup. yg pernah wujud, akan selamanya wujud. walaupon ade yang buat 'onar', takpe saye maafkan mereka. kenapa? sbb mereka adelah org yg pernah sama2 gelak dan menangis dgn saye. mereka adelah yg terbaik. tetap menghargai!

kalo sstgh org, zaman sekolah je ade adek2 angkat ni. tp bg saye di sini pon ade. tapi xdelah nk declare adek2 angkat ni. cukup la kt rase mereka sentiasa dekat dan sentiasa ada di sisi. adek2 ku, akak dah nk blah. belajar rajen2. ilmu semata x cukup, tapi pengalaman hidup tu yg paling bermakna. macam mana nk cr pengalaman hidup? x semestinya dgn sentiasa keluar ipoh, lepak sana sini...sbb akak xde pengalaman sebegitu sepanjang 5 tahun di sini. pengalaman dtg melalui kesusahan dan air mata. mungkin kt tak rse kt perlukan skrg, tp sebenarnya itulah yg akan kt guna pakai suatu hari nnt. :)

Diari manis,

org kata zaman belajar adelah yg paling manis. betul. x tipu. skrg, bila dah abis semua, mula rase bosan. FYP yg buat senior2 x tido malam pon dah xde. tido malam tanpa gangguan ape2. aish, dah xde mimpi ngeri. mid sem test, quiz, projects, assignment, dan final exam, register course, add drop subject, slip exam, semua dh takde. habis. sume dah berakhir. yg tinggal hanya semua kenangan yg bila imbau balik buat sengih sorang2. that's uni's life. so beautiful, so wonderful!

baiklah, cukup la kali ni. ade idea sy tulis lagi. ade lagi sebenarnya. kena buat by chapter ni. hehe. ini gmbr kelas terakhir kami. lps paper corrosion. semua muka gembira x ley blah :)

kredit to Humaizi for this pict

Mainhall...di sinilah ktorg mula2 jejak kaki 5tahun yg lalu, pada satu tarikh manis dalam bulan Julai 2005. dan di sinilah akhirnya kt menamatkan kertas terakhir pd 1 Jun 2010. 5 tahun babe, tp mainhall ni x pernah berubah. org yg keluar masuk je yg berubah dan kt adelah salah seorang dari mereka :)

friends, u create music in my life...so lovely

identity

saye tak mahu die tahu sape saye sebagaimana saye tahu die siapa...so, org yg berkenaan, pls keep my identity. hehe. tu syarat sy letak utk berkawan dgn die. NOKTAH

dia dan..study to the fullest!~

i dun noe, betol ke ayat title my blog tu. study to fullest. men cekup jek..rsenye selama ni dgr org ckp life to the fullest (ye ker..m not sure gak la) -___-"

seyes, so penat ok, exhausted! study dr kol 9 smpai 6 smbung lagi mlm. behnti sbb tido or g kaco org. spend the whole time kat library. ni sume pasal gara2 test 2 yg sgt la x memuaskan. sudahnye kena study tahap ape ntah. mcm skrg! petang bekejar cr lecturer, awal2 pgi gelabah beki report FYP. x siap2 lagi. ahaha. life, u'r such 'beautiful' :) :) mlm ni pon i dh takde selera nk makan nasi. hilang nafsu makan. myb too tired! at last beli roti planta 2 biji ngn roti john. ngn minum milo panas. tula dinner saya mlm ni.

ok, kuar topik jap, td, mse study, ttb saye rse sungguh sedy. nasib baek x menitik air mata. ceeh, eh betul sbb depan tu adelah ssorg. mula nye otak saye ok jek. tp up to 1 point, gle sayu. mcm2 perasaan wujud. ntah bape kali saye bace doa mse study. mst kalo org tgk, pehal la minah ni. kejap2 bace doa. taw sy mintak ape? minta Allah bg kekuatan. sy x kan tukar utk g study meja len. sbb tu menunjukkan sy ni coward. n sy xnk kalah dgn perasaan. mcm2 sy buat psg lagu kuat2 la...buat2 busy la. sume x berjaya. sehingga la, sy pasang surah sajadah. sy dgr berulang2 kali. smpai sy rse boley senyum. dan saye mmg senyum sbb hati time tu mmg tiba2 jek tukar jd kuat. x rse sedey, tp rse happy. hebatkan kuasa ALLAH ni. alhamdulillah :)

lps tu, ntah la ape nye perasaan bertukar jd mcm nk tolong die. nk tolong ape tak taw.haha. pelik2. mmg sy x suke die dl. DULU. skrg, sy mintak Allah pusingkan hati sy utk sayangkan die. pelik? mmg saye pelik. KA ckp reverse psychology. kalo org x suke kt, kt jgn la x suke org tu. mest reverse. then, sbb tu la mst sayang dan suke die. make sense tak? hahaha. kalo korang x faham ape yg sy merapu2 ni, then anggaplah ni terkuar topik jap :)

die ade paper ptg ni. then i asked someone utk convey my regards and wish that person goodluck. i dunt noe impression that person if die tahu saye...ntah, sy tak kisah. mse nk kuar ptg td, g makan, sy pndang CH. dalam hati ttb terdetik, "dik, akak doakan awk boley jawab. yes u can do it. insyaAllah.." huu, jarang nk ada terdetik mcm ni kecuali pd certain2 org yg rapat dgn saye. dan tuan empunya diri tak pnh tahu bila kt buat mcm tu. haha, it just a way that i want to do and yet it make me happy. hehehehe...

owh yer, i jumpa satu buku best kat library, A step to Nowhere. sy nk pnjam tp rse dh terlmabt sbb sy nk buat clearance dah. so sume mnde tak ley pnjam. saye jap bl sebut psl ni. mse dh tak lama....T___T okla, sy rse sy kena stop. sbb almost 8.13pm. need to go to irc. till then papai~

5i's......

Starfish...its have 5 legs. legs ke hand??i think both incorrect.haha..rays la darling. forgive me ok? 5rays represent us. 5 of us. this is my last study group. and i enjoyed having them around. so do u guys aite? Nad, fikri cikgu, fikri wahi and pijan...thnks for being here, together with me. i used to call them our 5 i's. hehe..ni gara2 pengaruh cte 3 idiots. :D

and, we tried to implement ape yg ktorg dpt dr that movie tu during our discussion ni. i noe its late already, but at least we tried. cthnye:

somebody are trying to memorize the answer..the some other will say,

"weh, weh, ko nk jadi Chatur kaa??kamon2, jgn memorize...try to understand babe!kang kalo ko memorize, ak tukar ayat jd mcm speech Chatur tu baru tahu...hahahahah"

when somebody try to ask,

" weh, yg ni k xkuar exam kan..xyah r bace r..."

then, some other guy will said,

" 3 idiots, are u? haha" :P

some sort of conversation and jokes are playing in the air....full of excitement, must i say. if there is anything yg ktorg x fhm, akan kuarla demo2 (still mcm Racho buat kat dlm cte tu), and one of the using my tumbler which they used to name as resevoir! we used it as an analogy for suction and discharge in Facilities studies.

one thing that i cant forget, last nite..i was too sleepy after having 2 round jog at tasek-alone! mlm tu mse dicussion, we used to discuss psl types of corrosion and past year exam. it almost 11 plus plus as my eyes dh merah2. at that time, i was trying to explain psl galvanic corrosion. sekali without i realive, terkuar psl intergranular corrosion :D (see, how i dh mix up all those thing) dak2 ni wat bodo jee, lps tu baru dieorg ckp, " ko dh kuar topik weeei...hee" -___-

all of us :)

hurm, wut i did tell here is not like to bangga or riak ape2 psl ape yg ktorg buat. pls dun misunderstood eh. it just some part in the last chapter of my stories. wut i learnt, somehow we can never imagine what will happen in our future, whose gonna be our friends, whose gonna be close to our heart. neither of us can tell or predict. we just hope for the best. insyaAllah and THANK YOU Allah for giving me these people in my life. hoping for the best in win-win situation. may Allah grant us with success. aamin.

5i's, we are on our road to success~

apart of 3 idiots...

today, i went to IRC- alone! haha, but i doesn't bother me at all. sorang pon ok pe. mayb dulu berdua. but if one is better than two, why should i choose for two? (ayat sarcastic di sini) :) ;)

library quite cold. for me its is freezing sbb xdak sweater. so, i cant focus sgt. next tyme i should bring all stuff dtg library.

honestly, its not about cold or freezing yg membuatkan sy x ley fokus. but, spirit and courage yg ntah mcm dh pudar sikit2 ni. gap 8 hari ni supposedly dilihat as one advantage tuk fokus, study sume. but, trust me babe, its not easy. otak ke lain, mata ke lain. pendek kata susah sgt nk fokus. 12.30 sy balik. plan to come again ptg nnt for discussion.

meet fikri utk amik notes facilities. i just nk check mine. rse mcm quite incomplete jek. again, i m not really in good mood to study. T__T. somehow, ttb ade satu intention dr dalam: 3 IDIOTS!!! ok, gerak hati mahu tgk cerita ni. sambil taking lunch, ape salahnye layan muvie. fyi, sy jenis tak setia kalo bab2 layan series or muvie ni. as i mentioned in previous2 post, sy suke skip2 cte which means sy x kan tgk one by one. so, even kalo filem tu adelah 23 episode mcm Adamaya, i can simply finish it in 1hours! hehe...sbb i byk skip...malas nk layan sgt. next tyme bila tak buzy boley la kot. hehehe

ok, talking about this movie: 3 idiots. rating sy bagi 5/5. amik ko. kali ni, sy tak skip any part. tgk smpai habis hingga sy cancelkan my plan nk g irc, (kebetulan nad ade keja td, so study grp cancel). sy suke movie ni, really inspired me. haa, Allah ni hebat la. tgh2 sy down, xde mood nk study...Dia bg sy intention layan cte ni. Alhamdulillah. Sy selalu berdoa spy Allah kurniakn hidayahNya dlm setiap langkah. tgk movie pon ley dpt hidayah???haaa, part yg tak elok tu xyah la tgk! heee....hidayah Allah boley dtg dlm mcm2 cara...insyaAllah. ok, back to the movie.

Life is all about listening to your heart and chasing your dreams. That's the essence of 3 idiots. the rest of synopsis, ley bace kat sini. dan yg penting sekali, belajar bukan utk jawab exam semata.

"Rancho said, knowledge is increasing verywhere-where ever you get it, gain it!!!"

Hey Raju, we'll study, with complete dedication we will study, but not only to pass the exam...

some great scholar has said, never study to be successful, study for self efficiency. Dont run behind the success, follow behind excellence..success will come all way behind you..

**********

then, i think that's the root...where we should begin and where we should end. Allah, thanks for this intention...ade 2 papers lagi utk saye realisasikan impian. May Allah bless me....and friends.

i asked my rumet...can i be apart of 3 idiots??? then she said, "awaklah.." and she laughed...hehehe ^__^

IRC ku di dapor

like i said before, sem ni kureng pg IRC. cam malas je nk pg walaupon dl zaman xde keta, pasrah gle menapak ke sana. malam2 pon. sorang2 pon.haha. skrg ni, walaupon ade kereta sendiri, terbalik lak perangai. forgive me dad!

mom pon tnye x gi library ke? i said NO sbb i tak suke tandas die. ehehe, n mls nk turun solat kat undercroft coz it takes time. a good reason kot. btw, i prefer to be in my hostel jek. kat maner? hee, kat dapor. presented my new IRC.wheee...woo, ade fridge lgi babe. siap ley jemur kain. irc mande ade tempat jemur kaen :S

and of cos i love to be alone. x suke ade org bl sy study. sbb nye: sy akan bercakap n bersembang n x ley fokus. i feel serabut bl ade org sekeliling. (study dlm gua la tikah weiii). xpe2 sabar. x lama daa nk abis ni.hehehe. dl, sy suke study ramai2. skrg dah x suke. ape punye byk gle perangai berubah. aigooo!

kat sini la sy dok melepak sorang2, plus pasang2 angan2. makan ape2 yg ade dlm fridge tu, bosan layan muvie sat tyme study (kantoi) n tersengguk2 sorang2. haa, semakin besar makin berubah. makin rse want to be alone. erk, adekah ini gara pengaruh cerita CInderall Sister yg sy tengok tu? when she says " i dont need anyone!!" +___+

siap ade bantal utk tidooo.. :D

makanan pon kat sebelah jek, pak guard x saman sbb ley bwe makanan heee :)

so in love

thnx darl for giving me this pict. lurve it so much. dpt je mnde ni terus gugel kat tenet MARA/JPA scholarship for MASTER.Ceeh, ttb je intention ni sbb die ckp "u kan nk g study harvard"

T__T..yup, suatu ktk dahulu impian tu melangit ade. tp bukan havard la, somewhere in oversea. but now, seems to fade away.tsk.tsk.

dh ler angan2 tu. zaman study pn nk abis daa unless if i cont for MA mcm my SV suruh. tp die soh g oversea. so, that's why la i gugel cr scholarship MARA or JPA. ntah, tu dlm perancangan lg. Allah lebey mengetahui ^__^

back to this pict, sy suke sgt lirik lgu tu. meaningful ok bila hayati. the person said, for u to have it whenever rase letih mse study. thnx lurve for understanding me. mse kat SCIPP dl, ramai yg support my aim utk bljar oversea. tp bl kat utp ni, no one else till i meet this person. haha...thnx alot~

u guys awesome

alhamdulillah...

syukur pd Allah sbb dh present project faci yg ke 2. all our hard works paid in the best way. wut else should i said except praise to Allah. nothing less. ^____^

supposed our group 6 ppl, tp last minute turn to be 5. so kerja quite burden lah. tmbh lg bila ade project 2nd ni. project 1st berakhir dgn jayenye jugak. same goes to 2nd project. for me, i really appreciate this project works sbb kt sume berusaha, we started our work awal2 and last2 tu keja edit sane sini hehe. mmg byk dugaan tru the whole days back then, but its ok. apepon thnks sbb same2 nek turun jumpa lecturer tak kire mase. we did this project bukan stkat utk siap, tp we knew wut we did. and i think we can use it during kerja nnt. insyaAllah.

yosh, left final exam jek nnt. so, lets do our best utk paper facilities. lets make our dreams come true guys. FACILITIES = A...nothing is impossible with Allah by our side :P

nite before presentation

after presentation ^___^

"abg Man, nape xde org recycle flare tu eh? mcm membazir jek dok kuar mcm tu..."

i asked Abg Man mase intern dl...sbb my desk menghadap flare.

"haha, xde org nk take care psl tu...xde org nk buat..tkah la yg buat.."

"tikah???asal tkah plak..."

"tkah la jd org pertama kat M'sia yg buat mnde tu...nnt kaya r..sbb ley reuse balik flare tu"

i still remembered my conversation with Abg Man, once upon tyme before...in 2009. who noes, arini i managed to calculate something bout flare. sbb mase cabut undi aritu, sy dpt flare..night mare kejap sbb i really dun have any idea cane nk dptkan electricity but just having 1 figure which is mass flow rate. well, what i have today bukan bermksd sy dh berjaya nk reuse flare tu cane. the thing is, at least i noe the concept or burning flare using .......... which for this project i try to make it simple as i can yet still can produce some figure yg kalo nk compare dgn technology US pakai tu mmg almost there. alhamdulillah.

to Fikri,

i cant imagine u managed to do ur part very well. siap ader drawing lg for platform. nice job dude! lecturer pon amazed dgn ape yg awk buat. chaiyyok ah. *two tumbs up*

to Pjan,

ko pon same. bl dgr ko nye explanation td, i start to noe that u really understand wut u did. u can provide all explanations from the fact that u have. nice one!

to Azmal,

same goes to u. ak mmg puas hati r dgn ape2 yg ko buat. mmg complete r even dr theory, report, calc, slide sume. haa, ak pon x fhm ape yg ko buat sbb ak x go tru sgt ur part. ceh, mentang2 la ak rse ko nye dh mantap, so x yah nk check.hehe...jgn marahh dow~

last but not least, Azreen...

yeah, thnks alot for teaching me everything. myb awk x sedar, but u really teached me tru the whole period we did these projects. with ur knowledge and experience, u provide us some extra understanding. btw, x sangka ade org ley 'copy figure' awk kan? hehe, tp dieorg kantoi gak ngn lecturer. thnks again and SORRY!!!

korang jgn pk bila sy tulis mcm ni saye nk boost up dgn ape yg ktorg dpt arini. mmg xde langsung niat mcm tu. saye tulis ni sbb if can sume mnde yg berlaku sy nk ltk dlm blog. come on guys, bape ari lg ade utk stay kat UTP. sume2 ni akan left behind jd kenangan kot. that's why saye tulis evrything that we did. spy on one sweet day, i can read this post again and smile sorang2 bl ingat hardwork buat sume ni. one more, i want to say sorry to sape2 yg tnye grp ktorg tp ade yg ktorg x dpt jwb. fyi, mcm for my case, time org kalut2 tnye psl project faci ni, tyme tu saye tlh saket kepala pk for my fyp. huh, i guest u all understand kot sbb when it came to FYP...mnde len tolak tepi r. huhu...

last but not least...thnx guys...thnx alot~

last study week

dear all, when u r in final sem..evrything will be FINAL :P

and there again, my last study week ever, has been schdule from 8th May~16th May (cume ak nye bru nk start arini hehe) tu x consider kena prepare utk fyp lg -__-"

dh final sem babe, tgh pk nk study kat mane kali ni. will be at my room or IRC. 1 mnde yg saye x bape suke utk study kat library bila tiba waktu nk solat & makan. kena turun ke undercroft pastu kena g makan kat cfe. haa, yg ni dh cut my time lorh. one more, bl dok library ni mmg akan berlaku 'eye polution' laaa. u got wut i mean. pastu suke sgt dok usya org lalu lalang. kire xley nk fokus r. but then kalo nk wat study group tu kire ok la. sbb ktorg tempah 1 discussion room. so, mcm terbatas la dr nk usya org. hehehe

kalo study kat bilik..wah, gle best. dapor dekat, toilet dekat. yg tak tahan katil sebelah je memanggil ngn laptop internet 24/7 jek. goyah iman tol laaa! tp solat ley on time, insyaAllah. no reason utk lewatkan solat. (peringatan utk diri sendiri,hehe)

study mcm bdk kecik ni, agak2 die fhm ke bace ape tuuuu :D

but, for study week kali ni ktorg akan still g irc, insyaAllah utk study group. doakan smg berjalan dgn lancar. aamin. dan jugak memandangkan study week kali ini adalah yg terakhir, maka mst ade sessi photoshoot.hakhak. layan jek~

my exam schedule

lagi schedule...

lastly, 4th June 2010: FYP presentation...moga Allah permudahkan..aamin

guys, lets strive for excellent...!!!

mother's day, photo class, SI

alhamdulillah, SI was over. really dun noe feedback from that SI. but, what can i say, my role play tak mcm the rest. and i feel like my heart is trembling like a small paper boat in an ocean. wut does it mean? ntah, just tawakkal pd Allah. tp, sy ttp bersyukur pd ALLAH for treating in this 'special way'. x berani nk komen byk2. n pls dun ask more about it ok!-____-"

Selamat Hari Ibu utk mak.

moga pnjang umur..

moga doa mak ayah Allah makbulkan.aamin

td i call before interview, dh nangis2 dah.nsb bek x pkai make up. kalo x, x psl2 make cair dl. lps interview i call nangis2 lg. end up rse mcm nk demam. parah sungguh. dh i mls pk. i betul2 mls pk. i need sumeone to talk to, but there's no one. mane kucing smlm yg i dok sembang2 tu? (korang ckp ak x betol daa sbb sembang ngn kucing, huh, dulik la ak). inilah yg sy selalu buat kat rumah bila xde org nk ckp ngn i. bl my parents xde kat umah n at that time i was deeply in pain+ sad.

smlm, i just got some picts from Munir, our last class photos. its awesome babe. ni tyme kls facilities. spot me in the pict, a girl, standing at the back, wearing a big old skul spects!haha. saje wat kenangan pakai spec gedabak tu dlm gmbr ni. facilities was our last class after 5 years being here. ceeh, mcm sedey jek bunyi. of cos sedey. 5 years down the road. together wif friends looking the meaning of real life at teenage age. sekolah menengah tu xde apelah sgt kalau nk compare dgn life kat campus. mcm2 happen dlm tempoh lima tahun ni. got to know u guys, learnt the meaning of friendship, the beautiful of honestly and sincerity among friends, the lovely sacrificial way towards foe (yg ni pelik kan,hehe but yes mmg ader) and last but not least of cos the meaning of naughty & dotty puppy ;D

like azmi said in his blog, after this; no most tests, no more asgmts, no more projects, no more worries for cosmarks, no more dgr lecturer membebel pagi2 isnin..no more kecut perut anythime wnt to seat for final exam. no more stay up study last minutes. no more chances utk amik slip exam. no more quarrel with pak guard psl saman kad matrix ngn parking. sumenye dah tak ade. evrything will be wrapped up in memory. everything will end up soon. right now, dh study week... -__-"

i will miss this place much much after this. i will remember every precious time for being here. huh, nk start ayat jiwang daa. okeh, dun wory i will keep those ayat2 jiwang for the last post in last day at UTP. hehe

all in all, thank you Allah, for giving me this opportunities to feel how life is all about. one again like the previous post, may our dreams come true. aamin.

ZOFFAN, SI, zombie

its has been a while i put ZOFFAN as my status for fb as well as gtalk. and ppl kept asking me wut ZOFFAN is all about? act, i love to use this word long2 tyme ago. at the beginning when i noe zoffan tu ape. in shorts, sejak form 5 slps terjumpa this word dlm buku sejarah. zoffan tu maksd die dasar berkecuali. so whenever sy rse mahu hidup dlm dunia saya sahaja tnpa gangguan mane2 pihak, i will put mode: ZOFFAN! bukan sy taknk org ganggu jek, tp it seems like word tu bg border kat saye utk buat mnde len. spnjg 4 hari ni, mmg sy tak layan fb (unless kalo ade nk wish kat sumeone for their final exam ONLY), x tulis blog, x chat ngn org (layan kalo mnde tu penting je), the rest mmg sy tumpukan pd kerja yg sy buat.

hee, ape yg sy buat act? sy telah pulun buat draft tuk report final year project. smlm tido2 ayam je, pastu g kls FACI pg ni dgn blur2. i try my best utk fokus dlm kls. tp terasa otak lmbt gle utk pick up. mcm hapee jek! that's my weakness bl x cukup tido. hidup sgt tak terurus bl dlm keadaan mcm ni. mcm zombie pon ade.wheee. itulah life final year final sem babe! nice gle~

owh yer, my name was included for PETRONAS SI (2nd batch). tp kategor 'waiting list'. huh, mse mlm briefing tu dh konfirm2 nama ktorg tak kan naek tuk interview kali ni. dan honestly sy mmg xnk lg la intervw sbb serius mmg mentally not prepared. so, skrg kata putus diberi kami yg dlm waiting list ni akan SI after final exam (which i prefer most!)

tapi kannnn, pagi td around 9.30 la i got a call from akak HR, asking me for SI at 10am! huh, mcm nk putus urat seketika. gle ke ape ingat sy ni robot eh? i was given 3o mins to prepare sume mnde. dh la baju x iron lg. kasut xde lgi. all docs pon x susun lgi. even borang utk employee tu pon x fill in lg. tertimbus dgn my FYP paper work. mmg sy terkaku seketika kot td. then finally i call her back btaw i cant make it today dgn alasan bla...bla..act, sy takut jugak in case sy buat wrong decision pagi td. yela kot2 my decision may affect their impression towards me. tp logik la sikit. daripada sy pegi dgn otak blank sdgkan interview ni adelah percaturan mase depan sy. pergi ke tak? haa, think wisely dude!~

at the end, sy rse ape yg saye buat tu mmg betul sbb ape yg sy perlu yakin satu je..

hati manusia ni Allah yg pegang. walaupon dieorg yg buat keputusan utk amik sy berkerja or tak, the decision tu act comes from Allah. Allah yg gerakkan hati mereka. so, ape nk takut? Allah kan ade. jgn berputus asa dr rahmat Allah dan yg penting, just do ur best all the way!~

i think i should stop for now. later cont. btw, mayb my turn for SI adelah esok. aish, tula nasib org dlm waiting list ni. standby all the time. dh ler 3 4 ari lps life mcm zombie. rse nk je mlm ni lepak2 layan muvie kejap. sekali kena prepare utk SI lak...huh, nk makan ice-cream r cani ^__^

Interviewku~

selesai lg satu interview. alhamdulillah. usaha saya seterusnya, saye serahkan kpd ketentuan Allah. berdoa dan yakin dgn setiap yg Dia ingin berikan kepada kita. itu yg saye selalu ingatkan pd hati walaupon ade ktk, terasa terlalu berat sbb kdg2 ape yg kt nk sgt2 tu, kt tak dpt. kecewa kan? sedey kan? tp Allah punya perancangan yg terbaik utk kita :)

Kadang2 Allah patahkan kita, utk selamatkan jiwa kita :)

cerita di sebalik intervw td? ttb nk share kat sini. mungkin berguna pd sape2..

td ade assessment yg mmg sln technical. saye bajet senang.cheewah, bajet kott. sekali soalan buat saye gigit jari. ade jugak la lompang2 air yg ditinggalkan. hehe. bukan IQ test pon. mmg technical. drawing ader 2 sln (autocad). otak dh lame x buat drawing, so tepu la sikit. punye la lama sikit nk translate bentuk ape yg die nk kan. 1 drawing sempat siap.1 lg half way. sumenye kerana nk pulun sln2 blkg yg byk kena calculate. aiseh...

then mse intevw tu plak, bos die yg berbangsa Jepun tu bley plak tertukar pointer ak. adeh, nsb bek yg cina tu betulkan. bila dieorg tgk pointer ak kan, dieorg relate dgn test ak jwb td.

"your pointer is very good, but why your test ....."

smbil menunjukkan kertas test tu kat ak. hahah

ak senyum, dalam hati....mula la nk back up diri sendiri kan. xnk ngaku x reti jawab. dlm hati....saye kutuk2 sln yg die bagi...dan dalam hati:

" sir, u give me only 30mins, but there so many part (A,B,C,D,E,F,G..) which some of them we used to learn during standard 1 (analogy ni) ..bla..bla"

(pls jgn tiru bab ni dan jgn la luahkan. biar setakat dlm hati shj. nnt silap ari bulan kena fire terus) hehe

dierong gelak2 je kat saya. pehal laa?? ade ke tnye sln conversion unit yg dok kat blkg buku bdk drjh satu tu. kalo yg beser guna tu tahu la jugak. ni yg tak pernh guna sepanjang hayat kott. sah2 la saye x jeling pon kat buku latihan zaman sekolah rendah dl. lesson learn, len kali before gi intervw tu prepare lah semua mnde ok? hehe

stil berkait psl pointer, tgk pointer saye tu, bos die yg Jepun tu tnye xnk sambung MASTER ke?hehe, saye tibai la jwb mcm En Win nasihatkan saye dl. cakap nk kerja cr experience dl spy research nnt akan lagi mantap dgn technical experience yg ko ade. pdhal, kalo dh start keja, sah2 la xnk bljar dah..hehe

lps tu, ni adelah kisah benar which used to happen to my friend (nama dirahsiakan :P ) len kali, jgn la sekali2 ltk mnde2 yg tak berkait ngn academic dlm folder cert tu. HANYA sijil dan transcript jek. kalo x, sekali dpt interviewer yg mata tajam mcm helang ni, even dh selip belakang sijil2 len...die nmpak. then die bg case study psl mnde tu. CONTOH: kawan saye td dpt case study psl kawen gara2 die letak sijil kursus kawen (even dh sembunyikan kat blkg2 page dah). Si interviewer tarik bwe kuar sijil tu, renung lama2 dan sekali die reka case study psl wedding planning. haaa, never expect kan sln mcm tu. but that's the reality. dunia interview ni mcm2. saye yg dgr hanya gelak2 shj bila member tu cite. tp, dlm gelak pon, sy tetap doakan yg terbaik utk member sy tu. mungkin sbb case study die len dr org, die yg terpilih. who noes kan?

disebabkan pegi interview td, maka saye telah ponteng kelas FACILITIES td. sem ni byk kenangan ponteng kls la. walaupon sblm ni tak pernh2 buat perangai. tp sesungguhnya, dlm byk2 intervw ni, saye tak tahu kat mane ALLAH nk letakkan saye. semestinya saye harapkan yg terbaik. tp kalo ALLAH takbgi tu, mknanya Dia ada la yg lagi baek utk kita. cume mase belum tiba. dan Dia tahu kt mampu hadapi dan terima sume ni. janji, kita meletakkan Dia di tempat plg tinggi yg kt boley gantungkan harapan.

meja study yg quite berselerak dgn notes Faci, tgh stdy balik sbb dh tertinggal 1 lcture. Y__Y

td, saye blank bl pk utk jwb sln intervw ni. dh lama saye left dunia bahas, almost 5 years. bakat loyar buruk yg sedia ade dh gone n makin berkurang scr jujurnya. ditambah lak dgn kemalasan saye utk bace isu semasa....bila saye blank tu, ttb saye teringat pd emel yg sy kirim tuk ssorg adek di Cairo. die ckp die blank nk exam. dalam emel tu..saye tulis...

"..jgn takut, put trust in ALLAH dgn sepenuh jiwa...tanpa berbelah bahagi.kalo blank, tgk langit yg tinggi tu...kosong gak....tp mcm2 yg turun dr situ...sumenye kuasa Allah. same goes to our mind. if we think they r blank, think of ALLAH. dgn izinnye, all amazed & wonderful ideas boley dihasilkan.insyaAllah :) ...

sy buat mnde yg same td. saye pndang langit biru yg cantik dan tinggi tu. dan saye cari kekuatan di situ. and alhamdulillah, it works!

p/s: mak call ckp makcik sy adiah handbag utk saye. waaa, katenye utk intevw. hehe. saye ni bukan jenis girlish sgt nk pakai mnde2 cmtu. tp bl org bg, alhamdulillah :)

current life

i am happy...i am sad...

totally down then i deactivate my FB

cont life as usual

with unusual feeling bloating here & there

but thanks to ALLAH for choosing me

to accept all of these ujian

He noes that i can endure it till the end

even sometimes i am so doubtful

with my own 'jiwa'

Jgn patah hati, leburkan diri...

ujian Allah sebaik2 tarbiyah

be strong!

"...but at the end...with kesabaran...insyaAllah ada kejayaan yg menunggu. itulah antara cabaran utk menjadi dewasa....when u get older, lg byk cubaan yg akan dihadapi..setengah tu kita terima dgn redha...always believe that semua benda yg berlaku ada hikmah & jgn sesekali buruk sangka pd Allah..."

~Mak Ana, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia~

moment for me to cry

it is the moment when i start to cry....

that's wut i wrote at my fb's wall just now. felt so down, depressed and SAD!!! some people might know why i am: 'in this mode'. and some people might misjudge thinking i just broken-up with my bf. wutever lah. i dont want to explain details the reason WHY coz i think lets the dark part being there, laying there in my thought. i will keep it for myself :)

sometimes, i ask myself, my heart, my soul....(destined partner xde lg nk tnye hehe), why am i being this way? in this path. in this direction where me myself : doubful to where i am heading to. to south, to west..north or even kerak bumi! BLUR and BLANK. that's the emptiness creeping slowly to my heart. mula2 die serang otak, then moving down to hati, jantung. sometimes, i feel like i need somebody to hear my crazy thoughts, somebody to share my dreams, someone to share my pains, (joys tu xyah ckp la sbb sume org ade utk itu :) , someone that i can rely on. a friend but not a special person nor bf! nope, that's goes beyond my limitation. hehe. i wish i can have it. its just a friend. no need to be bestfriend. i hate the word bestfriend since i think sometimes a bestfriend can change to be a BADfriend!

p/s: mina, ko tak termasuk dlm soal ni, dun wory dear ;p

talking bout being in grief and despair ni, dh lame i left this word. i guess la coz i just realise it, selama ni i was in comfort zone. that's why i never rase nk nangis mcm skrg. kalu dl, mse zaman2 intern..selalu la jugak nangis2 ni. final year ni, last sem i did cry coz i felt like i was doing worst in my polymer's test 1. then, xde daa kot. tensen ngn fyp tu common sense la kot. even till today pon i do feel it. sem ni plak, right now, i am facing it. honestly, betol2 down. to whom i should tell? haa, nk cte kat kaklong, die busy ngn atiQ. of cos i understood her life now. so, keeping it urself sometimes can be a burden. makan dalam org kate. but what should i do? till...

i come to this...

"Sesungguhnya hanya di sisi Allah ilmu tentang hari kiamat;dan DIA yang menurunkan hujan, dan mengetahui apa yang ada dalam rahim. Dan tidak ada seorang pun yang dapat mengetahui (dengan pasti) apa yang akan dikerjakannya besok. Dan tidak ada seorang pun yang dapat mengetahui di bumi mana dia akan mati.Sungguh, Allah Maha Mengetahui, Maha Mengenal."

Surah Luqman: Ayat 34

ayat ni dalam maksudnya. I just leave to you guys on how u want to interpret and understand it, because lain org lain cara die menyesuaikan dgn keadaan dirinya. and as for me, i shouldn't let the sadness tu become a cancer, but turn it to be something else...a vitamin mayb :)

why???

because we will never know how our life will gonna be once we open our eyes tomorrow. it can be, a scar today change to the most beautiful part as everything happen tersimpan hikmah Allah. Allah Maha Mengetahui every single dot dot u face. thus, just trust Him, never give up to give a try and stay constant to where u r now. no turning back but, just move forward. insyaAllah. everything will be fine. aamin :)